I told someone the other day that what means the most to me from others is consistency. I have thought a lot about that since the pandemic started. I knew something wasn’t feeling right from some people, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
When people need me… I am there on their time. When I need people, if they are there, they are there on their time. Hmmmm… something is not right here. It’s not their fault though… I set the tone for how I allow people to treat me.
I have control over ME, and I choose to be consistent for others. I do not ever want anyone to feel alone or as if they don’t have anyone. There are limits of course, but I err on the side of being there for others vs. not. You never know what someone is going through, and that they reached out means they NEED you. The courage it takes to reach out for an ear to listen, shoulder to cry on, arms to hold them… should not be taken lightly. In this girl’s opinion, it’s pretty crappy to allow someone to muster up that courage and then dismiss them. What if all the courage they had in them, they used up on you?!?! Anyway, that’s why I take it seriously. Everyone has moments when they need someone, and I hope that the next time someone does NEED that person, you consider that it might be YOU❤
Sometimes I stare at the wall and in the back of my mind I hear my conscience call telling me I need…
So, do you know what’s next? Let me skip a bit
… for the first time in my life, I see I need LOVE❤
Oh LL Cool J… you hit a homerun with this one sir🙌🙌 my fav LL song hands down. Yes, I should be sleeping, but I’m alone in my room and I see I need love. Not that I need to be in a relationship… I need love‼️ I love me and I love my freedom, but I also realize that I am tired of wrong love, selfish love, needy love, one sided love, etc. I thought I didn’t need love, but I do. I need RIGHT love, healthy love, consistent love, selfless love, all about me kinda love. I give all of me, but who in this world will dare return the favor. I realize the answer could be nobody🤷♀️ However, I recently opened up to the idea that maybe, just maybe there might be someone out there “beneath this great big sky” thinking about making me happy tonight. Good thought anyway🥰
My point is that all this sitting, staring, thinking opens up a world of possibilities for me. I am happy to know that somewhere inside of this dude brain I found the space to realize that LL Cool J was right… I NEED LOVE❤
So… there are so many ways that I do… writing, dancing, washing dishes, watching a movie, and some other ways I won’t share here 🤪 Anyway, one I didn’t mention is a drink. You know… mixed drink, a beer, wine, etc. I am in program and am not supposed to drink unless it’s an indulgence. So, I do my very best to stick to it. We all have missteps in program, but if I’m gonna have one, I want to make darn sure I am consciously choosing it. So, no random misses. Today was a SUPER stressful work day despite doing my morning workout (usually that helps to avert the stress preemptively). I kept thinking that I could really use a drink to calm all the way down. However, I still had my Kenzai workout to do. So… I was really looking forward to it in hopes that it would make me feel better. With the combo of the workout and music… I was giggling doing wacky moves and enjoying the workout and feel so much better!!!! No drink for me… phew… Itty bitty crisis averted🤣😂